


She Said, She Said

by NovaZeroZero



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, HaruMatsu, Hurt/Comfort, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21713773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaZeroZero/pseuds/NovaZeroZero
Summary: Harumi finds out she might have feelings and is having hard time accepting them.
Relationships: Mizusawa Matsuri/Taniguchi Harumi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 108





	1. She Said (Harumi POV)

**Author's Note:**

> This first chap is from Harumi's POV. The second will be from Matsuri's POV. 
> 
> This is quite short angsty bit I've had stuck in my mind for a while. Ending will be fine, don't worry. :3 Haven't done much angst lately so, let's see how this goes.
> 
> Life and stuff has kept me from writing lately. This has been unfinished in the drawer for a while and decided to dig it up tonight. Thanks PastelRaccoon for the beta reads. If you want something less angsty, they have an awesome HaruMatsu you should read if you haven't already.

**(01:14)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Yo! U still up?

 **(01:14)Me:** Am now… what do you want?

 **(01:16)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Nene-chan sent me this today. Anything to say for yourself?

 **(01:16)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe sent a file:** IMG_10272018_123335.jpeg

 **(01:25)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** ??

 **(01:26)Me:** Well, that’s me. Is that how my hair looked today? Nice. And pls let Nene-chan know I don’t appreciate being paparazzi’ed, no matter how fabulous I am.

 **(01:26)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** No, that’s u glaring at the prez. What’d she do?

 **(01:28)Me:** How am I supposed to remember? Nothing, I guess. Now pls, let me sleep

 **(01:29)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Hah, go ahead and mute me.

 **(01:31)Me:** Maybe I should… It’s a school night, you should go to sleep too.

 **(01:31)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Nah dude, I’m a nocturnal being. All my friends are online at night, and there’s this epic event going on and we’re just killing it.

 **(01:35)Me:** Fortnite?

 **(01:36)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Rude. Overwatch. You just never listen, do you? Btw, what’s my screen name?

 **(01:37)Me:** I listen! You play games. I knew it was not Fortnite, just messing with u. And your screen name is “Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe”

 **(01:37)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Aww babe, you can step on me any time you want (ﾉ*ФωФ)ﾉ

 **(01:38)Me:** …

 **(01:44)Lil piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe:** Gotta go, see you on Friday at the Aihara slumber party! Night!

Harumi squinted at the last message on screen in the dark room and put her phone away. The wasted half an hour of sleep just got her feeling more agitated for the following day. She didn’t usually have trouble getting to sleep, but lately there had been a lot of things on her mind. Matsuri had grown a bit needier for attention lately; it wasn’t like she didn’t enjoy spending time with the little punk. If she had to put her finger on the feeling that was bothering her, she’d say it was how they connected on a strange level. Letting someone get so close to her made her feel vulnerable, and she didn’t like that at all. The idea of Matsuri having the power to push her buttons the wrong way made her uneasy. Someone so childish and unpredictable who could probably get the best of her if she so wished scared the shit out of her.

Getting Yuzu and Mei back together, and _engaged_ , gave her a lot of peace on her mind. Yuzu’s problems were not taking as much of her emotional capacity anymore. Harumi felt comfortable enough with Mei now and was sure Yuzu was in no immediate danger of getting her feelings hurt again. Their daily problems were more of an annoyance nowadays; Mei was still being difficult with public displays of her affection and Yuzu was constantly stressing over minuscule details. Watching their daily interactions had turned to more of a comedy than a sad drama, which was probably the reason Harumi felt like she was more equipped to help out Matsuri a bit more.

She cursed herself for letting her guard down around the younger girl way too many times. It created openings for her that she shamelessly took advantage of, though not to an actual point where Harumi would get her feelings hurt in any way. But those moments that left her feeling unsure of _herself_ and the girl’s ability to make her doubt her own motives was the thing that was driving her insane.

 _A girl who plays with fire,_ was Harumi’s best description of Matsuri in her late hour thoughts. She made a mental note to change the screen name to that in the morning. The name change thing was their running joke. Matsuri made a big reveal of her chosen screen name for Harumi whenever they met in person. It was usually something inappropriate, but most of the time it got Harumi laughing which in turn earned a huge, victorious, and smug grin on the younger girl’s face. The girl had undeniable smarts and charm to her, she wasn’t denying that, but it was just not the perfect time to let anyone get under her skin. Graduation and final exams were getting closer, and there were big life decisions ahead. There was too much on her plate to let a small devil like Matsuri get the best of her.

* * *

**(23:44)PERV ALERT:** Oy, what u wearing? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **(23:44)Me:** …

 **(23:45)PERV ALERT:** C’mon, I’m bored. Just a few pics, and I’ll leave you alone. I promise.

 **(23:47)Me:** A few? Not wearing much, just got out of the bath. ;)

 **(23:48)PERV ALERT:** HELL YEAH! Where dem pics?

Harumi did a quick search for the ugliest picture of a blobfish. Earlier during the day she made the mistake of opening a picture file Matsuri had sent her during the school hours. Yuzu was the only one who caught a glimpse of her screen with a very lewd illustration of what might have been a character from the game Matsuri was playing. Yuzu kept teasing her for the rest of the day of how deep a shade of red her face was.

**(23:50) You sent a file image.jpeg**

**(23:51)PERV ALERT:** lol

 **(23:51)Me:** I know, right?

 **(23:52)PERV ALERT:** Nah, seriously? Send me a pic. Haven’t seen your cute face for days. I’m having withdrawal symptoms.

Harumi stared at the screen, not surprised that Matsuri was being a persistent perv again. The earlier texts were just as bad, hence the new screen name. But, for some reason, getting a compliment made her cheeks warm.

 **(23:54)Me:** Where have you been?

 **(23:55)PERV ALERT:** I have a life, you know…

 **(23:56)Me:** Do you?

 **(23:56)PERV ALERT:** No

 **(23:57)Me:** So you chose your internet friends and the stupid event over us?

 **(23:58)PERV ALERT:** Something like that…

 **(23:58)Me:** Hurt

 **(00:00)PERV ALERT:** Hey, babe. You get me for the whole weekend. Don’t worry.

Harumi smiled. The pink-haired girl’s comments were so lame that she thought she deserved her reward. She lifted her phone to her eye-level and took a selfie with a funny face and her tongue sticking out.

**(00:03)You sent a file IMG02332056.jpeg**

**(00:07)PERV ALERT:** SENPAIIIII~~ Thank youuuu (^･ω･^=)~

 **(00:08)Me:** It’s late. Going to bed, night!

Harumi kept flicking her screen on and off for a while to check if Matsuri would send more replies. An irritated sigh escaped her before she gave up and put the phone away. Her mind went back to the same thoughts as the night before when she tried to get to sleep. No matter how hard she tried not to be nervous about the weekend and convince herself that nothing had changed, she felt that unfamiliar anxiety settling again. Maybe fueling the fire with the picture she had just sent was not such a good idea after all.

* * *

Alarm rang at 6:30am on Friday morning. 1 new message.

 **(03:39)PERV ALERT:** _message deleted_

Harumi frowned and pushed the matter out of her mind. She didn’t have time to waste before getting ready for school.

* * *

“Yuzu, can I ask you something?” Harumi turned in her seat and met with the blonde’s curious gaze.

“Of course, anything,” Yuzu said and flashed her friend a big smile.

“About Matsuri… Do you think she has been acting a bit weird lately? I mean—even more than usual.”

“I can’t say. I think you spend more time with her than I do. It’s actually you, who’s acting a bit strange.”

“Me?” Harumi raised her eyebrow. She tried to think what Yuzu was referring to. True, she had been a bit more occupied with her conflicted thoughts about Matsuri, but for that to show in her behavior was unsettling. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you seem tired. And maybe a bit less cheerful?” Yuzu pondered. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Ah, yeah… I know. I’m not quite sure what _it_ is.” Harumi sighed. Her hand idly wandered to feel the hard edges of the phone nestled tightly in place inside her shirt. “Haven’t gotten much sleep lately.”

“Hmm? _Someone_ keeping you awake, huh?”

“Wipe that grin of your face, it’s nothing like that…” The brunette hesitated for a moment. “But yeah, Matsuri keeps sending me texts at night. She has some game event going on that apparently keeps her awake.”

“Just mute her if she’s giving you trouble.” Yuzu looked a bit worried. “She’ll understand, I’m sure.”

“No, I thought about that but… The texts actually cheer me up, I mean… She’s frustrating as ever, but she makes me laugh.”

“Frustrating how?”

“Ugh, like… Compliments? I know it sounds like nothing, and it’s just Matsuri, right? If it was anyone else, I’d think they were interested in me, like seriously interested. And she’s so good at it too, I find myself seriously considering it and then I remember it’s just how she is. So, it’s frustrating.”

“What?!” Yuzu’s eyes lit up. “You’re considering what? Dating Matsuri?”

“Whoa… no!” Harumi blushed and checked around to see if anyone was paying attention to their conversation. The classroom was almost empty with only a few students in the far corner talking to each other. “I don’t really have time for that. There’s so much stress with picking a university and thinking about the future that I wouldn’t date _anyone_ right now.”

“Well, that stuff can wait. There’s still lots of time before graduation.” Yuzu waved her hand. “You told me to take it easy with the studying, remember? Why don’t you take it easier too?”

“You don’t have an overachiever for a big sister and a family that expects too much of you.” The brunette sunk in her seat.

“Maybe not, but you could still study and have a girlfriend. If _I_ can pull that off, so can you!” Yuzu smirked.

“Wait, what? You forgot this is Matsuri we’re talking about.”

“So? You said she’s chatting you up every night? If you’re interested in seeing where it could lead, why don’t you?” Yuzu tried to encourage her friend.

“Eeh? It’s… Matsuri. She’s just messing with me.” Harumi frowned and felt agitated again. “And I’m not even sure what it is that I want. She just knows which buttons to press and that makes me feel uneasy, to be honest.”

“Okay,I need details. What’d she say that’s got you so messed up?” Yuzu inched closer as if to make sure she didn’t miss anything.

“Eh—well… Last night she said she misses my cute face so I kind of… sent her a picture of said face.” Harumi mumbled quietly.

“You did what now?!” Yuzu was in awe. “Wow, this is more serious than what I thought.”

“Yeah, I know I probably shouldn’t have. But she was so lame and got me smiling so I—"

“You do realize what kind of a message you’re sending here, right? I mean… Sure, it’s Matsuri. But she has feelings too, you know. If you don’t, please tell her.” The blonde’s smirk had vanished.

The brunette leaned across Yuzu’s table and buried her face in her hands.

“I know. I just… can’t deal with this right now.”

* * *

Harumi clutched her overnight bag in her hands when the elevator rose up the building where the Aiharas lived. The nervous feeling in her gut had just grown. She was going to spend a weekend with Yuzu and Mei, obviously. But with Matsuri there too, she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with whatever mischievous acts the girl was about to throw at her. The conversation with Yuzu earlier had not left her with any more answers, but rather deepened her confusion over the whole affair. Judging by the earlier group texts, Matsuri had already arrived and they were all waiting for her.

The last nervous gulp went down Harumi’s throat when she rang the doorbell. She was slightly surprised to see Mei answering the door and stepping aside to let her inside.

“Welcome, Tani—uh, Harumin.” She said greeting with a small polite bow and clearly still feeling uneasy to be on a first name basis despite the many times Harumi had tried to convince her to use her name. Either Yuzu had been hammering her enough about it, or she had finally grown more accustomed to having her as a friend.

“Thanks for having me, Mei-san.”

“No, it’s good to have people around. Feel free to join—whatever is going on in the living room,” Mei said and looked uncomfortable. Harumi’s interest was piqued, and she tried to steal a glance at what was going on while removing her shoes.

She only had to take a few steps closer to see Yuzu engaging what seemed to be a wrestling match with Matsuri on the couch.

“Harumin! Good, you’re here,” Yuzu said breathlessly while pinning down the pink-haired girl. “Tell this little brat she has to remove the pictures of me and you Nene-chan has apparently been taking in school.”

“W-what? Oh, yeah. I saw some. Could you two shut down this ridiculous fan club, please?” Harumi sat down on the couch. She felt less nervous now that she was there with everyone. She hunched over Matsuri’s grinning face to lend Yuzu a hand and grabbed at Matsuri’s wrists.

“She has one of me in the bathroom.” Yuzu tried to reach for a phone Matsuri was holding tightly in her hand. Matsuri looked up and met with Harumi’s eyes.

“Tsk, she’s right. Delete them, now.” Harumi tried to look stern, but the grinning girl staring at her made it hard.

“Say it like you mean it.” Matsuri tempted. Harumi accepted the challenge and lowered her head and let her breath tickle the girl’s ear.

“ _Now_. And I’ll let you live.” Her words seemed to work. Harumi felt the arms relax and Yuzu was able to snatch the phone from Matsuri’s grip. Harumi got up slowly and noticed the slight pink that appeared on the smug girl’s face. She released her from her grip and straightened herself to sit on the corner of the couch.

“Pin code?” Yuzu pried, holding the phone in her hands.

“Just punch in zeroes…” Matsuri replied, defeated, and didn’t get up.

“Okay, let’s see…” Yuzu said and went through the pictures on the phone. “Harumin, this picture you sent her is really cute! Want me to remove it too?”

“NO!” Matsuri cried and jumped up. She tried to reach her phone, but Yuzu dodged in time.

“No… It’s OK. Leave it.” Harumi said and felt her heart jumping against her ribcage. She was sure Yuzu hadn’t noticed, but she had just blabbered out the fact that they had been talking about what happened the previous night. She held her breath and hoped Matsuri hadn’t caught on.

Yuzu stood up and continued her operation. She walked in idle circles around the living room and made a few frustrated sounds.

“OK. Here. Your phone is full of _filth_. Why do you have such pictures?” Yuzu gave the phone back to Matsuri who immediately checked which pictures had been removed.

“So? It’s my phone, I do whatever I please with it.”

“You’re not still doing the… part-time job or whatever you called it?” Yuzu asked carefully.

“Pfft, of course not.” Matsuri waved off. Yuzu looked at her for a while as if to define if this was true or not. Seemingly satisfied, she walked to the kitchen. Mei had kept her distance from the three and was reading a book, leaning against the counter.

“We’re gonna run to the store to get some stuff for the evening. You two can stay here, we’ll be right back,” Yuzu said and grabbed Mei’s shoulder.

“We are?” Mei seemed confused.

“ _Yes. We are._ ” Yuzu gave her a meaningful look. Mei glanced towards the couch and nodded.

Harumi noticed what Yuzu was up to and tried to convey her curses to her with a deathly stare.

“You sure you don’t need any help with that? We could just—”

“No. It’s just a few things. We’ll be right back.” Yuzu interrupted Harumi and dragged Mei to the front door.

Harumi took a deep breath when the two left and the whole apartment fell silent.

“Those two can’t go anywhere without each other, huh?” Matsuri said breaking the silence and turned to face Harumi.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I don’t mind getting a few minutes with you alone, though.” Matsuri grinned and Harumi couldn’t think of anything to say. She tried her best to see if the girl was serious or not, but the smug face was unwavering. If anything, Matsuri looked a bit more tired than usual. There were faint dark rings under her eyes.

“So… You sent me something last night?” Harumi suddenly remembered the deleted text she found in the morning. She tried her best to appear normal despite feeling more nervous as she had before arriving.

“Heh, yeah. Sorry about that. I meant to send something to someone else, so I deleted it. Nothing important…”

Harumi was sure she noticed a slight change in the other girl’s expression but couldn’t quite catch what it was. She was rather hung on the words ‘ _someone else’_ that rang in her ears. She hadn’t really given it a lot of thought, but she somehow assumed she would be the only one Matsuri was texting at night. She wondered if the pink-haired girl also felt the awkward atmosphere. She racked her brain to think of things she would normally do around Matsuri to not seem so strange; she wanted to get out of the strange head space that felt so unfamiliar.

“Have you been sleeping at all? You look tired, more so than usual.” Harumi pried and hoped she wouldn’t sound too patronizing.

“Yeah. Last night was rough, that’s all,” Matsuri said quietly.

“Rough? Like the game or what?”

“Yeah, we got our asses kicked.” The nonchalant tone in Matsuri’s voice was creeping Harumi out. No way this was just about the game.

“You’re sure that’s it?” Harumi asked.

“Mmhm. Don’t wanna talk about it, sorry.” Matsuri stared to the distance and Harumi felt her heart sink. This had to be the most unhappy she had ever seen her. She had a sudden feeling that the deleted text message was something totally different. She wanted to ask about it again but didn’t want to pry further.

“It’s OK. You don’t have to. Uh—want a hug?” Harumi tried not to blush when she opened her arms to invite the girl. Matsuri looked at her with a hint of disbelief, but her face turned back to a smug smirk and she crawled closer on the couch. “But hey, no groping, OK? I’ll seriously punch you if you do.”

“No groping, I promise.” She nuzzled her head against Harumi’s shoulder.

The brunette closer her arms around the girl and relaxed a bit after she was sure Matsuri was not up to any mischief. The feeling was almost peaceful, and the silence was not so pressing anymore. Harumi could tell the girl was extremely tired when it only took a few minutes and she heard quiet snoring.

Yuzu certainly kept her promise of being quick on their errands and the girls returned for what seemed to be too soon for Harumi. She tried to carefully turn her head towards the hallway without waking the girl up. She raised a finger to her lips in a hushed gesture. Yuzu took the hint and nodded. Harumi watched as the blonde tiptoed to the living room with a huge grin on her face.

“ _This is not what you think.”_ Harumi mouthed silently and shot her friend a stern look.

The blonde dug her phone from her pocket and pointed the camera at the two girls snuggled on her couch. Harumi tried to mouth objections, but Yuzu ignored her completely. The blonde gestured Harumi to smile a bit and she did her best to muster a smile. Bad pictures were a thing she would avoid more than getting flustered over her intrusive friend.

Soon she felt the phone in her jean pocket vibrating against the sleeping girl. Yuzu must have sent her the picture. She was about to tell her to stop sending pictures when Matsuri flinched.

“Mmhn… Taniguchi-senpai?” Matsuri mumbled still half asleep.

“Yeah?” Harumi looked down at the sleepy girl’s face now staring at her.

“Your phone just went off. Don’t you wanna read what it is?”

“No, it’s OK. I know what it is, I just asked Yuzu to send me something.” _Technically,_ she didn’t. But she would have if Yuzu was not a good enough friend to know she would want the picture for herself.

“Oh, okay. What?” Matsuri was more awake now and kept staring at Harumi who felt a blush burning on her cheeks.

“She…” Harumi thought twice if she should just come clean about the ordeal or not. “She took a picture of you sleeping just now.”

“Show me.” A huge smirk spread across Matsuri’s face. She shifted up to give Harumi access to her phone. Yuzu who was still standing in front of them held her screen out for them.

“You two look so cute together!” Yuzu teased and got Harumi feeling even more nervous. She tried to silently communicate her friend to shut up with a meaningful look.

“Wait… So, you asked her to take a picture of me sleeping?” Matsuri looked genuinely surprised and turned to Harumi.

“W-what?! No! Of course not!” A slight panic was forming in the brunette’s chest, making breathing difficult. She gritted her teeth together while cursing Yuzu for meddling with the emotional mess that was already raging inside her head.

“Naw, don’t worry, babe. I won’t hold this against—”

“I’m _not_ your babe.” Harumi snapped. “This is not funny anymore. So, stop calling me your babe or whatever. And you need to stop groping me with any chance—”

“But I didn’t! I didn’t do anything…”

The room fell silent. Matsuri was at a loss for words and stared blankly into the distance. Yuzu was in shock and tried to talk to her friend. “Harumin—”

“I’m not done.” Harumi was getting seriously irritated. “Matsuri, you can’t keep messing with me like this. I just—can’t deal with this right now.”

“But I didn’t _do_ anything…” Matsuri said quietly.

“Yeah, Harumin. She really didn’t. Sorry if I—” Yuzu chimed in but the brunette interrupted her.

“How about all the messages I get in the middle of the night?! Last night I got one at 4am…” Harumi knew she should have stopped ranting, but the discomfort she was feeling was too much for her to not do anything about it anymore. Saying all the things aloud was not making her feel any better. A quick glance at Matsuri who looked like she was about to tear up any minute sent a bolt of guilt through her and she felt like she wanted to throw up.

Matsuri silently got up and walked towards the hallway. Yuzu tried to stop her, but her hand was quickly shaken off. Matsuri grabbed her bag and put her shoes on, disappearing behind the front door. Mei who had been quiet in the kitchen followed her to the elevator.

Yuzu stared at her friend cautiously. Harumi was trying to steady her breathing from her sudden outburst. Her head was getting fuzzy and she barely heard Yuzu’s words of encouraging her to go after them, but she shook her head before burying it in her hands.


	2. She Said (Matsuri POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the ever patient friend, PastelRaccoon for the beta on this chapter.
> 
> //Edit: I fixed the last part a bit. Earlier version was a bit rushed. I just can't do slowburn T_T

“Why is no one flanking?! C’mon, we talked about this like a second ago.” Matsuri was getting frustrated by her teammates and yelling instructions to her headset. “We look stupid crammed up here like a bunch of… they did what?!”

The screen of her phone lit up on the table next to her keyboard. She forced herself to take a quick look at the sender of the message but returned quickly to her game when she noticed the message was from Nene. She could wait. At least until the round was over. The game was getting too hectic and the panicked chatter in her headphones was getting on her nerves.

“Guys, I need a break after this round.” She felt a headache forming somewhere in the back of her head.

Her phone lit up again and she let her focus slip for another moment. The opposing team took advantage and her character was dead in the second it took for her to return her attention back to the game. _Nene, this better be important…_

“Shit, I died. Guys, I’m out.”

She removed the headphones before grabbing her phone.

 **(21:55)Nene:** You’ll never believe what happened today. I witnessed a true HaruYuzu moment. Wait, I have a picture here somewhere…

 **(21:57)Nene sent a file:** IMG_10272018_123335.jpeg

A small smile curved on Matsuri’s lips when she opened the picture. It was only a zoomed close-up of Harumi staring at something with a frown. She could almost see her jaw twitching slightly by just looking at the still picture. It was definitely one of her serious faces. She spent a while just staring at the picture and studying it until she noticed the blurry background was the cafeteria. The quality was surprisingly good for a zoomed close-up with a phone.

 **(22:01)Me:** Senpai looks pissed. But how is this HaruYuzu? I only see half of that ship?

 **(22:05)Nene:** I was sitting a few tables away so I couldn’t hear the conversation but there was the President sitting her back facing my direction and Yuzucchi was sitting across the table and apparently the Prez was talking about something, because Yuzucchi’s mouth was not moving and Taniguchi-senpai was staring at the Prez here very intently. I don’t think anyone else noticed, but whatever it was seemed to get senpai agitated. Yuzucchi was smiling the whole time so it must have been so painful for her real true love just sit there and listen to whatever the Prez was telling her.

 **(22:06)Me:** Ok, whoa, wall of text.

 **(22:07)Me:** A few tables away? What kind of equipment are you carrying around there? The picture has crazy quality.

 **(22:08)Nene:** Oh, you noticed! I got a new phone yesterday.

 **(22:09)Me:** Nice. Are you coming to Aiharas’ this weekend?

 **(22:11)Nene:** No. We’ll be visiting my grandparents. 5 hours in the car with my brothers… Please, you must send me all the juicy HaruYuzu from the weekend!

 **(22:14)Me:** Senpai will kill me if she sees me taking pictures

 **(22:15)Nene:** Take some when she’s asleep. Or pretend you’re reading something from your phone, I can show you a few good tricks.

 **(22:16)Nene sent a file:** IMG_10272018_123348.jpeg

 **(22:17)Me:** That’s just skirts and legs? How’s that any good?

 **(22:18)Nene:** Senpai and Yuzu talking with me on recess. See how close they are standing to each other?

 **(22:19)Me** : Not really…

 **(22:19)Nene:** Mum just told me to go to sleep. Sorry. Have to go. Bye!

 **(22:20)Me:** Night!

Matsuri always felt uncomfortable when someone mentioned their parents doing something like that. The house was unsettlingly quiet, and she wanted to distract herself, so she picked up her headset and returned to the game.

* * *

It was well past midnight when she noticed a light turning on from the crack under the door.

“Guys, gotta go now. Night,” Matsuri said quietly. She grabbed her phone, tiptoed to her bed and crawled under the sheets. She plugged her ear buds into her phone and put on music. She noticed the shadows under the door passed by and soon the light in the hallway was clicked off.

She lay awake for a while and started to go through her messages on the phone. She found Harumi’s last message and opened the conversation. She hesitated for a while before she hit the send button on the message she had typed in. Surprised to see an immediate response, Matsuri couldn’t help but smile. She dug up Nene’s earlier photo and sent it to Harumi. She knew there was nothing going on with Harumi and Yuzu so she mostly let Nene live in her own fantasies. She did get some good photos out of it, at least the ones involving recognizable faces. It used to be a good way to tease and get reactions out the brunette, but lately she seemed to dodge every bait so the joke got old really fast.

Matsuri’s cheeks hurt from all the grinning she had been doing for the past half an hour. For what it was worth, she barely knew much about love, but Harumi had a way of making her feel safe and accepted that she had barely felt with anyone else before. She never particularly avoided the touchy subjects and was not afraid to yell at her face if she crossed the line. As what came to the _line_ , it seemed to have drifted further from where it had started and Matsuri held her breath with every new thing she tried to see if the line was still there.

Her idle thoughts were interrupted with the notification of a new text. She was disappointed to see the message was from the group text she had with her Overwatch teammates.

 **(01:40)shinj111111(OW):** pls come back

 **(01:40)S40T0M3(OW):** yeah.. we’re getting slaughtered

 **(01:41)Me:** fine, just a sec

 **(01:42)S40T0M3(OW):** THX! ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨

Matsuri made sure she heard the quiet snoring through the paper-thin walls before she got back to the game.

* * *

During the first recess Matsuri had trouble keeping her eyes open. She slowly slumped over to the closest vending machine and selected a bunch of caffeinated drinks. She then sat down on the bench in her usual hiding spot. Her teammates had filled the group text with lewd pictures. The fact that all her other teammates were boys didn’t really bother her and she gladly contributed to the chain of explicit illustrations of game characters. One of the girls in the images looked a lot like Harumi. A thought of Harumi in a similar pose flashed through her mind and she nearly choked on the iced coffee.

 **(10:22)Me:** I just saw this and it made me think of you~

**(10:23)You sent a file DVa99211jjjj.png**

**(10:24)UPSEXY:**!!! I’m at school!

 **(10:24)Me:** I know, me too.. Did someone see what you’re looking at?

 **(10:24)Me:** And I know where u hide ur phone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **(10:25)UPSEXY:** Just Yuzu… You little perv!

 **(10:25)UPSEXY:** That looks nothing like me…

 **(10:26)Me:** You looked at it again?!

 **(10:26)UPSEXY:** I saw enough on the first go

 **(10:27)Me:** Okay, I bet you’d look better doing that

 **(10:27)UPSEXY:** …

 **(10:27)UPSEXY:** Lose this number…

Matsuri snickered out loud for the last text and got a few curious looks from people using the vending machines. She pushed away the unpleasant feeling creeping from the looks the others were giving. She had already embraced the fact that all her classmates were mostly too scared to talk to her because of her reputation. This was not so different from her middle school years, but to have that follow her to high school did bother her more than she cared to admit.

“What are you looking at? Never got a funny text from someone?”

The few students hurriedly looked away and left the vending machines without buying anything. Matsuri opened another can of iced coffee and gulped it down in one go. She returned to her texting with Harumi.

 **(10:29)Me:** You aren’t really mad at me, right?

The recess was nearly over so she headed back to the classroom. She kept glancing at her phone, but Harumi didn’t reply. Nene was the only person asking if she would be joining them for lunch, but she declined.

By the time their lunch break started she still hadn’t gotten a response. She could have gone and tried to find her in the cafeteria, but she was on a tight schedule with the game event going on. Lunch time was reserved for quickly finishing homework for the afternoon classes and eating lunch would have hindered her schedule. 

**(12:13)Me:** Senpai? You still mad?

* * *

**(15:32)UPSEXY:** No I’m not mad

 **(15:32)UPSEXY:** Teacher took my phone

 **(15:33)Me:** Amateur! Never thought you’d get caught

 **(15:36)UPSEXY:** Me neither. It’s your fault!

 **(15:37)Me:** Nah. Sorry—I’m a bit busy. I’ll text you later, OK?

 **(15:38)UPSEXY:** … fine.

Matsuri was already on her way home and was only a few stops from her destination. The reason she was busy was her teammates were going over strategies in their group text. The next game was starting at four and Matsuri hoped she’d get home in time without any major delays.

She reached the front steps when she noticed a familiar car in the driveway.

_Shit. He wasn’t supposed to come home before tomorrow._

She didn’t notice anyone on her way from the front door to her room and sighed in relief. Her father travelled a lot because of his work and her mother spent most of her evenings somewhere else when he was out on his trips. Matsuri didn’t really want to know more about their affairs, so she just kept to herself in her room mostly. As long as she kept bringing satisfactory report cards from school, they didn’t seem to mind what she did in her free time.

“Yo, guys! Let’s do this.” Matsuri was ready after a quick setup and had a bunch of canned iced coffee lined up next to her screen that she hauled from school. Only a few minutes left before the start and her teammates congratulated her for making it in time.

* * *

_Fuck, she came home…_

Matsuri saw the light come on in the hallway outside her door.

“I gotta go, good job guys.”

She closed her computer and crawled under the sheets. Her ear buds somewhat muted the sounds coming from the other side of the door. She made a mental note to buy better headphones when she kept hearing the voices arguing outside her room whenever the song changed. The playlist she chose had songs that were loud and long just for that.

A relieved smile spread across her face when Harumi was still awake, and she would have better things to think about. She was grinning like crazy when she got a picture of a blobfish on her screen. It wasn’t so much because of the blobfish itself, but the teasing that had preceded the image. _That_ in Matsuri’s books counted as a definite win. It was not the first time Harumi had let something similar slip, but Matsuri always marked them down as special occasions.

Her heart skipped a beat when she later received a real selfie of her beloved senpai. It was maybe the thought of being closer to Harumi right there. The image was of her just seconds ago and it felt almost alive. Her hair looked slightly damp from the bath she had mentioned. She was wearing a loose t-shirt and Matsuri was certain she wouldn’t be wearing a bra under it. Her cheeks burned just from the thought and she felt so giddy that she wanted to scream. 

Everything about the picture was just _perfect._ She kept staring at the small tongue sticking out of her mouth and the way the lips were curled. The wink that was supposed to be funny but Matsuri saw how Harumi also wanted to look cute while doing it. The slight pink on her cheeks had her hoping it was because of her and not from the bath she just came out of.

She couldn’t get enough of looking at that picture. Probably the most awesome thing about it was that it was meant _for her._ She had asked to see her cute face and she got what she asked for. She was so preoccupied with staring at it that she almost forgot to thank her for sending it.

* * *

A few hours later she still lay awake; whenever she tried to take the headphones off and start sleeping, she could hear her parents arguing downstairs. It was way past three o’clock in the morning and Matsuri felt like crying because she was getting so tired.

_I should’ve slept last night…_

She unlocked the screen of her phone again to look at the picture once more and hoped it would cheer her up a bit. Maybe it could even tell her what she should do.

_C’mon senpai, help me out here…_

The picture kept still.

 **(03:39)Me:** I know it’s late, sorry. I just can’t sleep and I feel like I need to get out of here. I kinda need to see you right now, can’t really explain why. Just do. Fuck it, I’d rather sleep under your window than stay here another minute.

Matsuri got up and started to change her clothes. She packed everything she needed for the weekend along with the stuff for school then headed out of her bedroom. When she got downstairs, she was met with two confused looking parents. Her mother had clearly been crying and opened her mouth to say something to her daughter but Matsuri was faster.

“I’m going to Yuzu’s place for the weekend. Can’t sleep with you two making all this noise. Please, get your shit together before I come back. Bye!”

She was out in the cool and foggy morning. The sun hadn’t come up yet and it was a bit cold. She walked the quiet streets towards the train station for a while but then immediately cursed herself when she remembered the first train would leave around 5:30. That would be at least an hour to go and it wouldn’t make sense to go to Harumi’s place on the other side of the city before school started if she had to wait for the train. After opening and reading the text she sent her a moment ago, she thought it was pointless now and deleted it. Yuzu’s place was closer, and she could afford the fare for a cab from the station.

* * *

“Yes, I’m here and it’s cold. Could you please just come down and open the door?” Matsuri asked the sleepy girl on the other end of the line. The apartments in the complex had door buzzers but they were disabled at night, so she had to call Yuzu’s cell phone. It took a couple tries before she answered and some convincing that she really was outside of their building.

A few moments passed before the sleepy blonde arrived at the front door. She was wearing an oversized coat over her pajamas and looked like she was still half asleep.

“Matsuri, why are you up so early?”

“Err—it’s really cold out here. Could we just go inside?” Matsuri asked quietly.

Yuzu held the door open for her and gave her a few curious looks but said nothing. They entered the elevator and the warmth of the indoor space got Matsuri sleepy. When they reached the apartment door, it flew open before Yuzu had time to place the key in the lock.

“Everything OK?” Mei stood in the doorway looking worried.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s _peachy_. Can I crash on your couch?” Matsuri removed her shoes and darted towards the living room without caring to hear the answer. The couch seemed too inviting for her to not fall down face first on it.

Yuzu came carrying a pillow and blanket only to find the pink-haired girl already asleep. After covering her with the blanket and lifting her head to slide the pillow under it, she went back to sleep too.

* * *

“Matsuri?” A soft voice woke her up.

Matsuri flinched and it felt like her eyelids had turned to lead. A blinding light burned her eyes. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was. She forced her eyes open and after getting used to her surroundings, she noticed Mei crouching next to the couch.

“Oh, right—Good morning,” Matsuri said and forced a grin.

“I made breakfast and tea. I can also skip some council work from this morning if you want to talk.” Mei looked so serious it gave Matsuri the chills.

“Nah, seriously. I’m good. No need to ditch your important duties because of me.”

Matsuri slowly got up, still slightly confused about how she ended up on the couch with a cozy blanket and a pillow. She saw Yuzu emerging from the bedroom and their eyes met. Another forced grin spread on the pink-haired girl’s face. She really hadn’t thought the whole situation through. Of course, these two would not let this slide so easily, they were always worried about everything. Crashing at their place in the middle of the night _would_ require an explanation.

After everyone was seated at the table, Yuzu broke the awkward silence.

“So, Matsuri. Want to tell us what this is about?”

“No, not really.” Matsuri snarled.

“This is not funny, you know. Why were you wandering outside at 5am?” Yuzu continued to question her.

“The truth?” Matsuri swallowed and considered to tell them what happened to stop them from harassing her about it.

“Of course, the truth. You don’t have the luxury to be difficult here. We did you a favor. Now spill it.”

“Fine… Just remember _you_ asked. And I don’t want either of you gossiping about this to _anyone_.” Matsuri looked only at Yuzu’s direction and gave her a stern look. “That includes Taniguchi-senpai, too.”

“I can’t talk about this to Harumin?”

“Nope. I’ll tell her when I want to, OK?” Matsuri waited for Yuzu to agree to her terms. Yuzu gave her a small nod, so she continued. “Okay, so… Father came home yesterday. A whole day earlier than he was supposed to and he found out that my mother is cheating on him. I already knew this, but I don’t want to interfere with their bullshit. So, I couldn’t sleep last night when they kept yelling and I just had to get out of there.”

“They know you’re here, right?” Mei asked, immediately assuming Matsuri just ran away from home.

“Yeah, I told them I’d come and stay here for the weekend. The sleepover is still on, isn’t it?” Matsuri asked and Mei nodded. “So—I just took a head start, no need to make a big deal out of it.”

“Not a big deal? Matsuri—this is kind of a big deal…” Yuzu looked more shocked than Mei.

“No, really, it’s not. Father is away almost every week on business trips, and I haven’t seen my parents expressing any affection for each other in _years_. Honestly, I thought father already knew but just decided not to care.” Matsuri shrugged her shoulders and took a sip from her tea.

“But that’s not how families should—” Yuzu started to object but surprisingly Mei cut her off.

“Some families are like that, Yuzu.”

“Yeah, just let it be. I’m fine. Just tired.” Matsuri smiled encouragingly.

 _How am I not surprised that we ended up comforting Yuzu about the shit going down with_ my _family…_

* * *

The afternoon couldn’t have come soon enough. Matsuri sighed when she was finally back sitting on the couch in the Aiharas’ living room. She tried to go and see Harumi during the lunch break but was ambushed by Nene instead, who was keen on leaving her with a bunch of instructions of what kind of material she wished to receive during the weekend.

The couch was inviting her to take a nap, so she leaned back and stared at the ceiling. Before she could properly shut her eyes, a strand of blond hair tickled her face and green eyes were staring down at her. Yuzu had a stupid grin on her face from what Matsuri could tell from looking at her upside-down.

“I had a talk with Harumin today.”

“W-what?! I told you not to tell her—” Matsuri jumped up so fast she nearly hit Yuzu’s forehead with her own.

“Not about this morning; I kept my promise about that. But we talked, and it got me thinking.”

“Thinking? About what?” Matsuri eased a bit.

“Well…” Yuzu walked around the couch and sat down next to Matsuri. “How seriously are you flirting with her?”

“Pfft… _WHAT?!_ ” A nervous gulp followed Matsuri’s feeble attempts to hide her nerves.

“Because I think… and hear me out, please, before you deny anything. I think you are serious but just don’t know how to express yourself.” Yuzu said, trying to tread carefully with the subject.

“She showed you our messages?!” Matsuri couldn’t believe Harumi would do something like that. Even if it was Yuzu, her best friend.

“No! No, nothing like that! I didn’t see any messages, I just pieced things together.” Yuzu quickly defended Harumi.

“So, you didn’t see any of them and she didn’t even say what was _in_ them? You just assumed _you_ know what I’ve been telling her?”

“Oh… Well, yes.”

“Yuzu-chan, I get why you’re so worried—” Matsuri started.

“I don’t think you do,” Yuzu started to explain. “I’m just saying that I think you have feelings for Harumi, she doesn’t know you do, and you two should really talk about this.”

“I’ll do things my way, not yours. Could you just stay out of this?”

“You have both already included me in this; you with everything that happened this morning and Harumi asked me for advice today—”

“Advice on what?” Matsuri snapped out of her annoyed stupor.

“Advice on _you._ So, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not working.” Yuzu tried to explain.

“What do you mean it’s not working? She doesn’t like me?” Matsuri felt her heart sink.

“No, I didn’t say she doesn’t—agh, why would you… I mean, she doesn’t know if _you_ like her or not.”

“Eh?” Matsuri was getting confused of Yuzu’s cryptic hints.

“Have you told her you like her?” Yuzu asked.

“Of course I haven’t. I assumed she knows,” Matsuri tried to think why her efforts were not good enough.

“Well, she doesn’t. So, could you just tell her and find out what she thinks?” Yuzu was getting ready to give up on playing cupid.

“So, _you_ know what she thinks about me, then?” Matsuri asked.

“It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t. You two _need_ to talk about this. I’ll make sure you have a moment or two this weekend, that’s the best I can do.”

* * *

_So warm and soft. What is this fabric even made of…_

_Why does she always smell so nice…_

_…_

_I could just stay here like this forever…_

_…_

_I want to tell you how I feel…_

_…tired…_

_…_

_…happy…_

_…_

_…safe…_

_…_

_Please, don’t let go…_

_…_

* * *

“But I didn’t _do_ anything…” Words repeating in Matsuri’s head came out so quietly that she was not sure she was hearing herself say them out loud.

_Senpai doesn’t want me to like her…_

The next words hit her with the force of a wrecking ball and she could barely breathe.

_Senpai doesn’t want me to bother her…_

_Please, stop talking…_

_I need to leave. I need to get out of here. Now._

_…_

_She doesn’t like me._

_…_

* * *

A blur of dark hair and a pair of arms closed around a nearly hysterical girl in the corner of the elevator.

A string of words that didn’t make sense muttered against her ear.

Elevator doors closing and opening.

Silence followed by a question.

_Please, just leave me alone._

Matsuri felt like she was watching the scene as an outsider. The first idea she had was to get out of the apartment. Now she was not sure where she would go. Home didn’t feel like a place she wanted to be right now. She knew Mei was with her, saying something, but she wasn’t interested in hearing what she had to say.

“Matsuri?” Mei asked, she had probably been repeating it for a while and Matsuri felt less disconnected.

“Uh—yeah… I would just—like to leave now…”

“Did you hear what I said?” Mei didn’t sound as worried as Matsuri would have thought she’d be.

“Hear what?”

“Anything I just told you on the way down?”

“No. I wasn’t paying attention. Could you just let go of me? I’ll be fine… I just need to be alone.” Matsuri said nonchalantly and tried to push Mei away.

“I’m going to try again, then. Could you please hear me out before you leave?” Mei asked and backed off. Matsuri nodded, suddenly feeling more tired than she had felt for the past few days she had spent sleep deprived.

“This is just what Yuzu kept going on about while we were in the store earlier, but she said she talked with you both. Well, in her words, you two are too dense to realize you both like each other and it’s very likely neither of you could admit it. And she said it’s just never going to work if she doesn’t do something about it.”

“Did you not hear what senpai just said?!”

“I did.” Mei said so calmly that it annoyed Matsuri. “I also know I’ve said hurtful things to Yuzu because I didn’t want to accept my own feelings.”

“She’s not _you._ ” Matsuri replied coldly. The elevator doors closed and the elevator started moving up.

“I know. I also doubt you would have done anything so bad to deserve those words. That’s why I’m quite sure it was for similar reasons I had.” Mei pressed their apartment’s floor button. “So, would you please come back and try to talk this out with Harumin?”

“I don’t think I want to anymore.” Matsuri bit her lip to stop herself from crying.

“I think you do.” Mei tried to be reassuring.

“What difference does that make? If she doesn’t—” Matsuri had trouble finishing her sentence when the doors opened behind Mei. It was Harumi who darted inside the elevator and shocked the air out of Matsuri again.

“Can I take this from here?” Harumi asked Mei and avoided eye contact with Matsuri. Mei nodded and left the elevator. Harumi pressed the button for the first floor and Matsuri was confused. The brunette seemed mainly interested in the selection of buttons in front of her than the quiet girl standing in the corner.

She pressed another button and the elevator came to a sudden halt.

_She just blocked us inside the elevator?!_

Had it not been the severity of the situation, Matsuri would have been impressed by the move and probably thrown in a selection of lame lines. Now she could only feel her heart against her throat. This was a bad moment to find out if she suffered from claustrophobia or not, so she tried to not think they were stuck in a small box.

Matsuri focused on staring at Harumi, who looked extremely uncomfortable and still couldn’t make direct eye contact.

“So—uhh… What was in the text you sent me last night?” Harumi asked quietly and kept staring at the floor.

“That’s what you have to say right now?” Matsuri felt the lump in her throat get bigger with every awkward second passing.

“I—well, Yuzu, refused to tell me anything but said it might be important.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. You made your point quite clear. I’m not gonna bother you anymore.” It took Matsuri all the last of her efforts to not break down a sobbing mess on the floor.

“I just need to know what was in it.”

“And _I_ just need to get out of here. Please, let me out,” Matsuri said and felt extremely anxious.

“No. Just yell at me if you have to, I know I deserve it. But I need to know.” The brunette kept insisting and still refused to look anywhere but the floor.

“You want me to yell at you? And then what? I say something hurtful and we’re even?” Matsuri was trembling, everything she thought she knew about her friend had just went down the drain this evening.

“If that helps…” Harumi’s voice was faltering. “I don’t know how to fix this... Yuzu just said I need to ask you about last night.”

“How about a freakin’ _‘I’m sorry?!’_ If you’re so fixated about the text, it was me, asking you for help when I still thought I could do that. It’s almost ironic how things turned out. I thought I could at least count on _you._ ”

Harumi lifted her gaze to meet up with the furious stare. “Wait… So, that was not about how you felt—what did you need me for?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not confessing my undying love for you or anything, that’s what Yuzu thought, right? I swear, this is the last time I tell her anything either…” Matsuri chuckled in disbelief and swallowed back her tears. “Please, just let me out of here.”

“Yuzu said she was sure you had feelings for me too, and you were not just messing around.” Harumi was staring at Matsuri now with newly found confidence. “Why did you delete the message if it was something like that?”

“It made more sense to come here. You live on the other side of the city and I really just needed to sleep. So, the whole message was pointless.” Matsuri took a deep breath and felt the whole situation unwinding slightly. “I’m not mad because you were not awake at 4am. I’m mad because you just told me to my face that I can’t ask for help when I need it.”

“Of course you can ask for my help. I’m your friend,” Harumi said, relaxing a bit. “And you’re right, I need to apologize. _I’m sorry._ Can’t put it into words how sorry I am that I freaked out like that.”

Matsuri examined the girl in front of her. Her breathing seemed to be heavy and she seemed genuinely sorry for lashing out. Could she just forgive her?

“How do I know you’re not going to say things like that again?” Matsuri asked carefully.

“I guess you don’t. And I don’t. I really have a lot of things on my mind right now—”

“And I don’t?! I wanted to tell you how good it felt to just forget all the shit going on in my life. I felt _safe_ with you and you took that away from me.” Seeing Harumi almost breaking into tears listening her words, but Matsuri hated the sight of Harumi getting hurt hearing her words.

“ _I’m sorry…_ ” Harumi couldn’t hold back her tears and Matsuri just wanted to go and comfort her.

“I believe you, I really do. It’s just a bit hard for me, I don’t know how else to be around you. I know I’ve tried how far I can go before I cross a line, now I feel like I have but I just don’t know what I did wrong.” Matsuri explained, she tried to ignore the quiet sobs and explain how she felt. That’s what Yuzu wanted after all, for them to talk about things.

“Did you—” Harumi wiped her face and exhaled a few times through her mouth. “Sorry… I needed to catch my breath a bit. Did you mean everything you said?”

“What I said?”

“In your messages. The _things_ you said…” Harumi saw Matsuri still looking confused, so she tried to elaborate. “How you missed my cute face and all that?”

An unintentional smile found its way on Matsuri’s face. “Of course, I did. _All_ of it.”

“OK, just give me a minute…” Harumi took out her phone and apparently started to go through the messages. Matsuri noticed her lips curved to a barely unnoticeable grin.

“What are you doing?” Matsuri pried.

“Just checking something… By the way, what’s my screen name?” Harumi asked and looked up from her screen.

Matsuri snickered and grinned. “Upsexy.”

“What’s upsexy?” Harumi asked and looked puzzled.

“I’m doing a lot better. You?” Matsuri continued her grinning and waited.

“Wha—OH! I get it. He-he, really funny…” Harumi blushed slightly and Matsuri took this as a good sign that things would eventually get back to normal. “So, now what? We’re good? I mean, I’m still really sorry for—"

“I know. I think we’ll be fine,” Matsuri said. A mischievous grin spread across her face soon after. “Also—am I the only one who noticed we both just confessed about confessing our feelings to Yuzu at some point.”

“Why do we take love advice from her? Remember how messed up they were in the beginning?” Harumi smiled and Matsuri felt like she had gotten her friend back. There was also something new and exciting in the air that she didn’t mind at all.

“Hey, I just got advice from _Mei._ I win.”

“Nah, _we’ll win,_ hands down. We’re gonna do this our way.” Harumi said with a grin before closing the distance between them. The kiss that followed took Matsuri by surprise; she was expecting a hug at most. She chuckled into the kiss before she closed her arms around the brunette and pulled her closer.

After what felt like minutes of steamy elevator making out, Harumi pulled away and started fumbling with the buttons.

“Now, how do we get out of here…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to continue HaruMatsu. Maybe a bonus chapter for this or another fic. 
> 
> Yuzu was right, they're both dense in their own way. 
> 
> Glad they're now dense together...


End file.
